The dragon breath dilemma

I bought a packet of mints the other day. It was an impulsive at-the-counter acquisition, because they came in a really nice tin. Cartoon of a girl transfixed by a tin in sparkling her palms, saying "Ooooh. I love it." I was in a handicraft store run by a not-for-profit community organisation, so naturally, the mints were quite expensive – Cartoon of a woman with dreadlocks saying,"That comes to $27.95…and with the mints, that’s a total of $197.95." But, as the sales girl explained, they were Fair Trade mints. Continue reading

The dog who stole Christmas

Early in his life, before he grew to loathe other dogs, our mutt had all the makings of a benign dictator-in-waiting.

He made liberal claims to territory, marking anything that crested the lofty height of three inches as his own.
Cartoon of a dog urinating vigorously against a fence and thinking, 'Mine.' Continue reading

Brought to you by the number 7

When I was in kindergarten, I used to knit in the school playground. This lasted about a week, until the teacher on duty told me knitting needles were dangerous and I was not to bring them to school anymore. I was baffled; despite what the name implies, my needles were flimsy plastic ones and utterly blunt. I complied, nonetheless, and I never did finish that scarf.
Cartoon of a little girl in school uniform with knitting needles held above her head like weapons. The caption reads, "Lethal knitting ninja".

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My two favourite Doctors

Since Doctor Who is celebrating his 50th anniversary this weekend, I’m paying tribute to my two favourite doctors.

However, I don’t mean my most loved incarnations of The Doctor. I’m talking about Doctor Who (in his various guises) and someone you would recognise another doctor entirely…
Cartoon of the eleventh Doctor Who throwing open the door of the TARDIS to greet the Cat in the Hat.
Namely, Dr Seuss.

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Things that scuttle and creep

I really am quite fond of spiders. This morning when I stepped into the shower and noticed a daddy long legs lurching spastically up a silken guy wire, I wanted nothing more than to rescue him.Cartoon of a daddy long legs spider hanging upside down on a thread in the shower.He was scrambling to escape the sudden steaming monsoon with his life and legs intact, but huge drops kept ricocheting from my skin, jarring him from his thread.Close up of a spider looking alarmed and clinging tightly to a web as water drops whizz by.

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Slaying Santa

Now that Christmas is in sight, I am once again readying myself for The Conversation.

It won’t be the first time I’ve had to do it, but it never gets any easier.

Each year they ask me about it, but no-one actually wants to hear the answer. As soon as the first sentence leaves my mouth, they swell with outrage, they call me a Grinch, they tell me I’m No Fun At All.

Mind you, these aren’t my kids we’re talking about – these are my friends and acquaintances. Typically they’re people with younger children, and they’re weighing up the best time and way to break the news about Santa in their household.

They ask: “When did you tell your kids?”, “What did you say?”, “How did they react?”

But I’m no help whatsoever, because I’ve never been in that situation.

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More adventures with eyeballs

Damnit! I should never have written that story about 3D glasses. Now Cyclops, the god of corneas, has vehemently expressed his displeasure.

You see, I used to wear glasses of the Extremely Correctional kind. But three years ago I had laser surgery, and bingo! My naked eyes could suddenly make out individual leaves on trees that were way over there.Cartoon of a girl whose eyes look tiny behind her very thick glasses.So when I went to a 3D movie the other week, I slid the cinema glasses onto my nose easily and contentedly watched the movie in sharp resolution.

The simplicity of it reminded me of all the times I used to struggle with half-an-octopus worth of glasses arms at the cinema.Cartoon of a girl wrestling with an octopus on her head. So that’s what I wrote about.

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