Wearing two pairs of glasses at the same time can be tricky. So, if you need glasses for everyday seeing-activities and want to catch a 3D movie, you have to adapt to the challenge.
Here are three methods I’ve road-tested, with varying degrees of success:
Wear your own corrective lenses, but not the 3D glasses provided by the cinema.
If you choose to do this, your movie experience will look something like this:
Wear the 3D glasses, but not your own corrective lenses.
If you choose this option, your cinema experience may look something like this*:
(*Results will vary with this technique, depending on how bad your eyesight actually is.)
Jam both pairs of glasses onto your nose at once and try to keep them there.
If you go with this option, your cinema experience will unfold something like this:
1. Attempt to slide the 3D glasses on over your regular eyewear as soon as the prompt comes on screen. Get the arms of the two pairs of glasses tangled together. Struggle vigorously to untangle them. Now they are also tangled in your hair, and the person beside you is shushing you for making so much noise.
2. Remove both pairs of glasses. Smooth down your hair. Try again, slowly – your glasses first, then the 3D glasses. Stay calm.
That’s it. You got there.
3. Now tip your head way back so the glasses don’t slide straight down your nose. They will still slide down, but at a significantly reduced rate. Remain in the head-tipped-back position and push the glasses up your nose repeatedly throughout the movie.
While you’re in the head-tipped-back position, the guy behind you may accidentally pin your hair to the back of the seat with his foot. If you’re an assertive kind of person, you’ll want to confront him about that. It’s up to you. Just remember it will yank your hair when you turn round to talk to him. And your glasses will probably fall off.
Note: the head-tipped-back position is NOT an ideal one for eating in. Try not to choke on your popcorn.
Since around 70 per cent of Australians, Americans and United Kingdomians wear glasses, this situation seems like a missed opportunity for the cinema industry. Even ruling out the people who only wear glasses for reading / working on the computer / looking cleverer, there must still be millions and millions of compulsory, all-the-time glasses wearers having rotten 3D experiences.
“Why not wear contacts?” I hear you say. Well, smarty pants, not everyone can.
If you have a history of infections, allergies, are diabetic, under the age of nine or have funny-shaped eyeballs, you’ve got no chance of wearing contacts. Besides, 3D movies are already fairly pricey without the extra sting of buying new eyeball accoutrements.
So maybe this is an entrepreneurial opportunity? If the glasses dilemma were solved, surely falling 3D ticket sales would improve!
I’ve even made a couple of designs they could prototype and test. (Both are arms-free to avoid the entanglement predicament.)
1. 3D glasses with elastic-strap for staying-puttedness, and a layer of foam padding on the back of the frame to buffer contact with your actual glasses.
They’re a bit like minion goggles, only uglier. But on the bright side, they’re well-suited to wearing over glasses without dislocating your eyeballs. Unlike minion goggles.
And they could significantly reduce the number of popcorn-related choking fatalities at your local cinema.