Early in his life, before he grew to loathe other dogs, our mutt had all the makings of a benign dictator-in-waiting.
He made liberal claims to territory, marking anything that crested the lofty height of three inches as his own.
He was magnanimous with his bounty, allowing canine and human alike to roam freely within his domain.
Life was joyous and plentiful, and for a while it seemed that his glorious ascension had reached its pinnacle.
He had walked everywhere he could walk, weed everywhere he could wee and conquered every land within reach.
But as his first Christmas rolled around, Dog seized on an opportunity that would cement his supremacy forevermore.
His strategy was simple, yet brilliant.
And as always, he was generous with his spoils.
It was a most golden moment in the auspicious Dynasty of Dog.