I was chucking together some lunch today, when I noticed something dodgy about a mushroom I was about to chop up. Frankly, it felt a bit fluffy.

On closer inspection, it was dappled with downy white growths.

Now, I have nothing against beards per se. But I do favour a more smooth-skinned complexion on my food.

So, naturally I tossed this aberration in the bin.