More adventures with eyeballs

Damnit! I should never have written that story about 3D glasses. Now Cyclops, the god of corneas, has vehemently expressed his displeasure.

You see, I used to wear glasses of the Extremely Correctional kind. But three years ago I had laser surgery, and bingo! My naked eyes could suddenly make out individual leaves on trees that were way over there.Cartoon of a girl whose eyes look tiny behind her very thick glasses.So when I went to a 3D movie the other week, I slid the cinema glasses onto my nose easily and contentedly watched the movie in sharp resolution.

The simplicity of it reminded me of all the times I used to struggle with half-an-octopus worth of glasses arms at the cinema.Cartoon of a girl wrestling with an octopus on her head. So that’s what I wrote about.

Continue reading

Advertisements

Holding out for the zombie apocalypse

A couple of years ago, I had to wear a branded t-shirt for a work event and my choice was limited to an extra-small or an extra-large.

Since I’m neither of these sizes, I tried them both on. I planned to choose the shirt that looked least terrible and, more importantly, the one that was easiest to move in – since it would be a busy, running-around kind of day.
Cartoon of a girl in a t-shirt so big it comes down to her feet.
That turned out to be the extra-small one.

Continue reading

3D cinema for the optically challenged

Wearing two pairs of glasses at the same time can be tricky. So, if you need glasses for everyday seeing-activities and want to catch a 3D movie, you have to adapt to the challenge.

Cartoon of a girl with glasses on, holding 3D glasses in her hand.

Here are three methods I’ve road-tested, with varying degrees of success:

Continue reading

The knuckle sandwich epiphany

Back in the days Before Technology, when I was growing up, we entertained ourselves by interacting with other kids.

This usually involved riding bikes or climbing trees, making up games or going to imaginary places. But sometimes we’d talk about Really Important Stuff like –
Cartoon of a kid saying, "If you could wish for anything in the world, what would you wish for?"I would nearly always answer –
Cartoon of a little girl with a halo above her head saying, "World peace."

Or sometimes –
Cartoon of a little girl with angel wings saying, "An end to world poverty."Keep in mind, it was the 80s.

Continue reading

The pursuit of sportiness

As a child, I had the misfortune of being labelled the brainy one. My younger brother scored the accolade of being sporty.

Don’t get me wrong, I saw my smartitude as a wonderful thing. When I grew up, I wanted to become a doctor and get a PhD and end world poverty. But I was less thrilled that braininess seemed to rule out the possibility of having any sporting prowess whatsoever.
Drawing of a little girl in school uniform getting hit in the head by a soccer ball.

Continue reading

New hope for sufferers of smiling

Photo of a girl smiling broadly.

Smiling can damage youthful skin

Life is full of reasons to smile, but expressing joy can cause lines to form around your eyes and mouth.

Now, thanks to advances in medical technology, you may be able stop smiling altogether and prevent the unsightly damage it causes to your skin.

Continue reading

Why humans love fire

A few years ago, my son spotted a remote control helicopter out the back of a charity shop as we dropped off some clothes. He immediately wanted to buy it.

Unfortunately, the bloke at the store said he couldn’t sell it to us. Because it was a potentially dangerous, untested electronic item, he was supposed to throw it away.

However, he mused, perhaps he could trust us to take it and throw it away for him? Wink wink nudge nudge.

My son joyfully brought the helicopter home, powered it up and launched it high in the air on its maiden flight. It span briefly at its apex, burst into flames and plummeted to the ground, smashing on impact.

Far from being disappointed, he was thrilled by the unexpected outcome.
Drawing of a boy holiding a remote control and looking up at a burning helicopter, saying "It's on fire!!"
Continue reading